Sound Sleep With ADHD: Overcoming Your Inner Rebel and Getting Rest

Let’s talk about bad sleep and ADHD. When you put them together, they make a terrible combination. They keep you from getting the sleep you need every night. You wake up grumpy, foggy, and out of it. You struggle to get through your day without nodding off, and your ADHD symptoms are worse than ever.

And if you’re like me (and most people with ADHD), there’s an inner struggle when it comes to going to bed. On the one hand, you know you need to get some quality sleep. On the other hand, it’s just so hard to put down your phone and call it a night.

Your inner rebel screams, “I don’t want to go to bed! I’m not tired yet!” or “Just a few more minutes on social media won’t hurt.” But we all know that those minutes can easily turn into hours, and before you know it, it’s 3 am, and you’re still wide awake.

You should change your bad sleep hygiene/habits. You know that. Everyone knows that. But changing habits isn’t as simple as just putting down your phone. It’s hard to overcome that inner rebel who wants to look at just one more Instagram post. And those of us with ADHD aren’t exactly known for our good habits.

In this guide, we’re going to talk about ADHD and sleep hygiene. We’re going to look at the connection between the two and how they affect your nightly rest. And we’re going to talk about how to overcome that inner rebel that doesn’t like sleep hygiene. This article on how to sleep better also shares some helpful insights from sleep experts that can support your journey to better rest.

What Is Sleep Hygiene?

Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page regarding what sleep hygiene is. Sleep hygiene refers to the habits you have prior to falling asleep. It includes your bedtime routine, the environment you sleep in, and the behaviors you engage in before bed.

Examples:

• Good sleep hygiene: going to sleep at a reasonable time.
• Bad sleep hygiene: staying up until 2 am every night scrolling.

You get the point.

Good hygiene is essential for good sleep. They go together hand-in-hand. Just like personal hygiene is essential for your body health, sleep hygiene is important for your sleep health. When your sleep health is not good, other parts of your body won’t do well either, like your healthy gut function, focus, mood, quality of skin, and more. 

The Connection Between ADHD and Sleep Hygiene

If you have ADHD, there’s a good chance you have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. And your sleep hygiene plays a key role in the quality of your sleep. Sleep hygiene and ADHD create a circle – either good or bad – for your body.

When you have bad sleep hygiene, your symptoms will most likely become more severe, leading to poor sleep. And when you don’t get enough quality sleep, your ADHD symptoms can also worsen. This cycle can be hard to break. It’s a Catch-22.

To escape the clutches of the Catch-22, you need to improve your sleep habits. And if you’re like me, you know that it’s not easy to change habits, especially when you try to go “cold turkey”. You can’t just stop staying up so late and go to bed at 10 pm every night. That doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried. 

And the science confirms my experience. Only 3-5% of people are successful in quitting smoking cold turkey. 

Why is it so hard to quit cold turkey? 

Part of the reason is that when you quit cold turkey, it leaves a vacuum, of sorts, and nature abhors a vacuum. You need to fill that vacuum with better, more positive behaviors.

ADHD Sleep Habits to Change Your Life

Thankfully, I’ve found some powerful techniques for dealing with ADHD and sleep plus sleep hygiene that have worked for my clients and me and helped tremendously.

Here are some of them.

Set A Wake-Up Time Instead of A Bedtime

Most of my ADHD clients (including undiagnosed and ADD) are naturally night owls. And, they (we) don’t like being told what to do. I’ve seen these clients try to set reasonable bedtimes and fail. As bedtime approaches, they push the envelope, staying up later and later. And so they don’t make any progress and give up trying altogether.

Here’s something that has worked: setting a wake-up time instead of a bedtime. Instead of setting a rule that I have to follow, I institute a goal to pursue. Granted, this isn’t always easy. Sometimes I wake naturally at sunrise, while other times I feel like death. 

The key for me is accountability. I meet my assistant on workday mornings, and knowing that someone is waiting for me – and it’s going to be fun- is the push I need to get out of bed in the early hours.

So set up a wake-up time and incorporate accountability into it if you can. Stick with that early time as much as possible and give your body a chance to get used to the habit. And, the more you get up early, the more you’ll get tired as the evening progresses. You’ll find it easier to go to bed at a normal hour simply because you’re tired.

Track Your Bedtimes

Warning: this one is hard to stick with but the results are worth it. Start tracking your wake and sleep times every day. That’s all you have to do. Write them down in a journal or something similar and keep at it.

Pretty soon, the “Observer Effect” will kick in.  You will naturally start going to bed earlier simply because you’re observing and tracking your behavior, even without trying to consciously change your behavior. I’ve seen this habit work many times across multiple areas, including weight loss, finances, and sleep.

Develop A New Relationship With Your Phone

This one is huge. The average person spends almost 4.5 hours every single day staring at their smartphone and checks their smartphone 58 times every day. This is a ridiculously high amount of time.

And your smartphone usage directly impacts your sleep quality. Numerous studies have shown that excessive use of your phone can lead directly to disrupted sleep. When you use your phone an excessive amount, your sleep is shorter and of poorer quality, and you have to deal with a lot of daytime sleepiness.

One of the reasons your smartphone hurts your sleep is that it means you’re constantly exposed to blue light, which comes from screens. One trick I’ve learned is to change the light to be warmer so I’m using less blue light. I also tone the brightness way down on my phone which I find easier on the eyes. And it saves your phone battery.

Using your phone a lot also leads to being distracted all the time. Every hour of every day is filled with buzzes and dings and notifications. It’s hard to pay attention to anything or anyone when you’re constantly being drawn to your smartphone. This, in turn, causes you to do sub-par work throughout the day and keeps you from engaging in deep thinking.

Also, using your phone non-stop can create significant amounts of loneliness and disconnection. When you’re on your phone, you are not interacting with anyone. You’re glued to your phone, scrolling through Instagram, checking email, or looking at memes. This lack of real human connection can lead to feeling isolated and depressed.

Finally, constantly using your phone may lead to what neuroscientists call “digital dementia”. In Psychology Today, they report:

“Digital Dementia” is a term coined by neuroscientist Manfred Spitzer to describe an overuse of digital technology resulting in the breakdown of cognitive abilities. Spitzer proposes that short-term memory pathways will start to deteriorate from underuse if we overuse technology.

In other words, when you use your smartphone excessively, you may experience a breakdown in your short-term memory, similar to what classic dementia patients do.

Take A Break

All this to say, if you want to improve your sleep, you need to use your phone less, particularly as bedtime approaches. 

This is hard for those of us with ADHD because we’re often prone to addictive/compulsive behaviors. This addictive behavior often results in feeling like things are a mess and out of control, which is not how you want to feel when you’re trying to improve your sleep.

Here are two techniques that have worked really well for me when it comes to creating a new relationship with my phone and improving my sleep hygiene.

First, I employ an “electric sundown”, which means not touching my phone for at least three hours before bed. My goal is to be away from my phone for somewhere between 7 – 11 hours every day. I know that I’m vulnerable to temptation and that I’m more prone to impulsive behavior during the late hours when I’m weaker.

To fight against this temptation, I put my phone on silent and move it to a completely different room. I know that might sound crazy or impossible to some of you but it really works for me. When I haven’t slept and I’m feeling run down, I can’t give in to the temptation to grab my phone without completely getting out of bed.

Like I said earlier, it’s hard to break habits cold turkey. By changing my environment, I give myself an advantage in my fight for sleep with ADHD.

Take Advantage of Your Sleep Inertia

Sleep inertia is that feeling of slowness and grogginess you have for the first 45 minutes to an hour after waking up. During this time, it’s easier to meditate and practice mindfulness than later in the day when I have a thousand thoughts going through my mind at one time.

Instead of grabbing my phone the second I wake up, I take advantage of this time by doing a meditation routine. This helps me start my day in a more relaxed and focused mindset. I also feel the power that comes with the delaying dopamine hit I get when I first look at my phone. Rather than scrolling on my phone in the morning, I fill it with meaningful, powerful activities.

And in the end, a peaceful start to the day often translates into a peaceful day altogether, which then turns into a peaceful sleep. 

Drink Less Water and Eat Earlier

This may seem obvious, but drinking less water before bed can actually help me sleep. I know that staying hydrated is important for overall health, but when it comes to falling asleep, drinking too much water can lead to multiple bathroom trips throughout the night, disrupting my sleep.

One of my clients in her 60s complained of having to make numerous trips to the restroom every night, which obviously impacted the quality of her sleep. The problem was that she would also get thirsty prior to going to bed, which led her to drink more water. 

We experimented and found that she could drink one glass of large water 60 – 90 minutes before bedtime, relieve herself prior to sleeping, and then take one small sip of water before finally going to bed.

If you find yourself waking during the night to relieve yourself, consider limiting your water intake, and stay away from diuretics like coffee and watermelon prior to bed.

Create A Good Sleep Environment

Your environment also plays a big role in getting sleep with ADHD, so you should experiment with it and find what works best for you.

I prefer to have a heavy blanket covering me, even during the summer, and make the room nice and cool, because that helps with numerous factors of sleep, including circadian rhythm, REM, natural melatonin, etc. My husband likes a fan. I don’t. Everyone is different, so you’ll need to experiment.

Think About The Good Things Coming Tomorrow

Sometimes you just don’t want to let go of the day. You want a few more hours to yourself. Just a little more time on Facebook. Your inner rebel says, “I’m not ready yet!”. This behavior, of course, leads to less sleep every night and less energy to do your most important tasks.

Another way to silence that rebellious inner voice is to think about the good/interesting/satisfying things that are happening tomorrow. The more you get yourself excited for tomorrow, the easier it will be to let go of today. This positive anticipation can help you relax and drift off to sleep peacefully. 

Change Your Perception of Yourself

How you see yourself plays a role in sleep with ADHD. You think somewhere between 60,000 – 70,000 thoughts every day, and many of them are the same thought patterns over and over. If you’ve come to think of yourself as someone who stays up late, has trouble falling asleep, and then can’t wake up in the morning, that’s the pattern you’ll continue to follow.

Instead, try to shift your perception of yourself as someone who can sleep well and have a regular routine. Try to see yourself as someone who gets up early, maintains good sleep hygiene, and has a consistent sleep schedule. Changing your self-perception can help you break out of old, negative patterns and develop new ones that support better sleep.

Winning The Battle of Going to Sleep With ADHD

Whether you have an extended ritual or just brush and floss your teeth and go to bed, understanding what’s interfering with a great night’s sleep is the first step. Once you do that, you can experiment with small habit changes for a period of time, ideally at least 60 days.

Your goal?

To build an entire system of habits that helps you get the sleep you need. To calm that inner rebel in you that doesn’t want to be told what to do and convince it to follow these habits anyway.

By making small changes and sticking with them consistently, you can start winning the battle of sleep with ADHD. Remember that good sleep habits take time to develop, so be patient with yourself and keep experimenting until you find what works best for you. With persistence and self-awareness, you can improve your quality of sleep.

Start with the easiest habit to change, whether it’s honoring sleep inertia or drinking water earlier. See yourself as a person who defies the odds and sleeps well, knowing your habits, attitude and magical body made it possible.